I just don’t know
I’ve lost control
I’ve lost my soul
Going nowhere
I feel no pain
What can I gain
Are never unknown
My words, my actions
They aren’t my own
I face my fears
Drowning in sorrow
Like there’s no tomorrow
Deal with the pai
n
Face the sorrow
Deal with tomorrow
You caught me off guard
The timing wasn’t right
And I wasn’t alone on that
Seems like I’m always off
What happened next wasn’t expecte
It wasn’t how it should be
Is far from being easy
The reasons are different
There’s not much I can do
It’s quite unknown
Can’t dwell on the past
Best to stay in the present
Watching time slowly go by
I try not to cry
From wondering why
I can barely comprehend
What is happening
Why it has to be this way
Like it or not, good & bad
I have to face it
With or without sleep
Fight the surge
Title waves of emotion
Flooding over me
Falling deeper & deeper
Into my own
The big unknown
When the sun rises
When the moon shines
When the stars don’t shine
It’s always part of me
When the stars don’t shine
It won’t leave me alone
But I’m not alone
It won’t leave me alone
For friends, family and God are there
To support, a shoulder to cry on
For friends, family and God are there
Anywhere, anytime, everyday
When the moon shines
Anywhere, anytime, everyday
I think about it all the time
I knew something was different
What it was I didn’t know
But I knew we’d grow
To be the greatest friends
And share something that never ends
From the next day on I knew
That because I met you
My life would be forever changed
What I feel for you
Is beyond what words
Can ever describe
And I still can’t seem to get you
Out of my mind
You are always in my thoughts
And I can never wait
Until I can talk to you again
You are here for me
While others are not
No matter where I am
Or what I am doing
I am thinking of you
Even when feeling blue
Look to the sky
Pet a kitten
Talk to a friend
Or shed some tears
Don’t forget your dreams
Talking to a friend
Can keep you from turning blue
Even petting a kitten
While looking at the sky
While shedding tears
Petting a kitten
Dreaming your dreams
While feeling blue
And talking to a friend
While looking at the sky
All the while feeling blue
And shedding tears
But keeping faith in dreams
Being lazy as a kitten
While talking to a friend
Talking about your dreams
Talking to the sky
Talking through tears
While feeling blue
And being lazy like a kitten
While shedding tears
And talking to a friend
Looking at the sky
Living your dreams
Looking at the sky and being lazy as a kitten
Listening to a friend and still shedding tears
A matter of the heart
A joyful experience
A horrible experience
A good day
A bad day
Images from the past
Strains of classical music
While I put on my satin pointe shoes
The taste of ice cream
In a freshly made waffle cone
What you as the writer makes it
Your memories
Your thoughts
Your dreams
No matter what, it’s all yours
Most of the time
Yet I can’t seem
To figure out why
Are valued and cherished
For now the memories
Are all I have
You feel the same way too
Until I see you again
And new memories are made
That you make me feel so out of character
I let my guard down
I have nothing to break
That’s done that in years
How can you do that
So easily without my knowing it
But it’s true
And I can’t even begin
To explain how or why
I don’t know why
I’ve lost control
It’s a never ending battle
Trying to figure it all out
I’ve found my way
And I can write again
And see you at my side
I ask myself if I am still dreaming
Or if you are really there
My mind starts to wander
Knowing that this is how it’s meant to be
For the rest of eternity
I wonder what you are dreaming about
If they are dreams just like my own
About what the future has in store for us
Then I decide it’s time to wake up
And tell you good morning and I love you
So you wake up with a smile because of me
My thoughts turn to you
Wondering where you are
And what you are doing
Thinking of me
Wanting to know where I am
And what I am doing
By my side when I wake
Isn’t a pleasant thought
But I guess it’s life
To wake and roll over and see you sleeping
And I’d wonder what you are dreaming about
If they are dreams just like my own
Just to say rise and shine or good morning
And hope you hear the phone ringing
So you wake up with a smile because of me
Did they have to die
Thinking that they were
One day closer to graduation
Just starting the school day
Before going outside to play
To shake a small community and give them grief
To throw them into mourning over the loss of innocence
As anybody in Columbine that fateful morning
They give their care, love, support and prayers
What it is I do not know
Along with everybody else
They will now be closer than ever before
And eventually things will be normal again, but never forgotten
That your actions weren’t your own
Have you ever felt
That you’re standing still while the world moves around you
Have you ever felt
That you’re moving in slow motion, but everybody else is on double time
Have you ever felt
You’ve come to the point of numbness that nothing can shock you
Have you ever felt
That nothing can cause any kind of emotional reaction
Have you ever felt
You don’t have a care in the world, but should care about everything
Have you ever felt
Like you’re on the outside looking in on your on life
How life would be
If you weren’t living beside me
You are more than just a boyfriend
More than just a lover
You are also a best friend
We are meant to be
And you’ve stuck by me through so much
If I ever lose you for any reason
My life will no longer be complete
But I will always love you no matter what
As I love you right now and more each day
Yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever
I love you
A soul that is lost
I am a fluffy white cat
Lazy as can be
I am the sun
Hidden behind clouds
I am a lake
Looking calm, but busy underneath
I am a flower
Wanting to grow
I am music
Playing into the night
I am a heart
A heart that needs love
I am my own
Strong and powerful
I am a scared child
Hidden in the body of an adult
I am an artist
And speak through my art
I am a mastermind
Speaking a language that few understand
I am a brain constantly thinking
I am a soul
A soul that is lost
But in order to get to it
You have to peel through several layers
And just when you think you’ve reached it
You find there is one last thin layer
Once you get to it
The reward is well worth it
My heart is the same
Several layers have to be peeled to get to it
That’s why I am so hard to break
As the layers come off
I slowly melt
But once you’re done
It’s well worth the reward
Is it the people we are around
The way that we are brought up
What we see on television
What we read in books
What we hear in the news
Is it all in our minds
Is it all a game
Is it all a joke
Is it for the fun
White against the world
People against people
When we are all the same
Just because a person is “different”
Do we take pleasure in hurting others
We are all people
We all have one head
Two arms, two legs, two eyes
A nose and a mouth
We all have hearts
And feelings too
When we are all the same
So far it’s been going well
Until you came into my life
I had no hang ups
At some point in their life
But why me
Why now
I have no idea how to fix this
Maybe all I need is some time
But for once I don’t know
How I am so hung up
Why I am so hung up
I just am
That good feeling
That someone is there
That someone does care
I’ve found a lifetime friend
In something that will never end
So why can’t you stay
Instead of going away
It brings a tear to my eye
Because we have to say goodbye
Just keep in mind
True friendship is hard to find
And I’ll never forget
The first day we met
We both had feelings we never shared
Fate drew us together for one more chance
We were meant to be together forever
To be here for each other through thick and thin
To bring more into the world like our own
That is why we are, why we will always be
Soul mates, lovers and best friends for all eternity
This I know
Sometimes it’s more than I can take
And I just can’t deal
Not being able to deal
And then I retreat
It takes all I have to pass the time
This is the hardest
Sometimes it just doesn’t happen
And all because I can’t deal
Is a treasure untold
Like a caress or hold
A known mystery only to me
You are always in my thoughts
Making you a part of me
You bring out something in me
Something most don’t see
So far, yet so near
A voice I need to hear
How can I love you with all of my heart
When there never really was a start
Ex boyfriend/girlfriend
Slow driver in front of you
Parents rules
Waiting
September – June
Commercials on the radio
Server being down
Wearing i.d. at school
Time
Working on a sunny day
Bad customers
Stupid movies
Bad music at a dance
Miles
Good restaurant, but bad food
Sales people
Chemistry
Answering machines
Spice girls
